Ratigan's Story
by The Mouse Avenger
Summary: The final edition of Ratigan's unofficial biography. Rated for violence, strong language, & sexual situations. Read & review, but no flames, please!


**Ratigan's Story**

**Chapter 1: The Tale Begins**

It was a bright & sunny afternoon in London, England. The day was so wonderful, you could hear Big Ben ringing its big, brass bells inside the clock tower.

In the city square, many mouse children were gathered around a puppet theater, waiting to see the show of the century. Holding the puppets was a jolly little mouse, wearing a rainbow clown suit, with tiny golden bells, funny shoes, & a purple hat with a golden feather. His name was Francois, & he was a gypsy who entertained the local children, hosted the annual British festivals & holidays, & did many other things. Today's puppet show was about the life of Professor Ratigan. As the presentation began, Francois began to sing...

**CUE SONG: "In The Beginning"**

_**In 1880, a fam'ly took a trip  
In a tiny little gond'la in the mighty River Thames  
The momma was an author, the photographer was the dad  
And they had a little baby, & it was a little lad**_

_**He raced on his hound, & the momma kept on runnin'  
There was no night as scary as there was a while ago  
He raced on his hound, & the momma started runnin'  
Down the River Thames to the Cathedral of St. Paul's**_

_**But just then the baby, an adopted orphan chap,  
Started crying while he was inside his mother's lap  
A shot rang out, & the fam'ly all looked up  
The nasty scoundrel Mouses Fiennes was about to stir things up**_

_**He raced on his hound, & the momma kept on runnin'  
There was no night as scary as there was a while ago  
He raced on his hound, & the momma started runnin'  
Down the River Thames to the Cathedral of St. Paul's**_

_**Ol' Mouses saw the fam'ly, & he saw the baby son  
He shouted to his minions, "I must have that little one!"  
The mother got the baby, & the father told him "NO!"  
The momma & the baby ran as fast as they could go**_

_**He raced on his hound, & the momma kept on runnin'  
There was no night as scary as there was a while ago  
He raced on his hound, & the momma started runnin'  
Down the River Thames to the Cathedral of St. Paul's**_

_**Well, they ran through the plazas, & they ran through the streets  
And they ran through the alleys where a hooker couldn't go  
They ran so fast that the hounds couldn't catch 'em  
Down the River Thames to the Cathedral of St. Paul's**_

_**Well, the mother & the baby fin'lly reached the sacred place  
The mother cried for sanctuary, knocking on the door  
The father came to help her, just as Mouses came along  
He grabbed the little babe, & shot the parents with his gun**_

_**He raced on his hound, & the momma kept on runnin'  
There was no night as scary as there was a while ago  
He raced on his hound, & the momma started runnin'  
Down the River Thames to the Cathedral of St. Paul's**_

_**Just then, a couple came by, & took the parents up  
They took them to a hospital, where they were both fixed up  
As she lay by her husband in the old hospital beds,  
The mother said, "Oh, father, dear, our son is surely dead!"**_

_**He raced on his hound, & the momma kept on runnin'  
There was no night as scary as there was a while ago  
He raced on his hound, & the momma started runnin'  
Down the River Thames to the Cathedral of St. Paul's**_

_**Well, meanwhile, back at the Cathedral of St. Paul's,  
Curiosity struck Mouses as the babe began to bawl  
Mouses lifted up his bonnet, & he gasped in shock & fear,  
He said, "A RAT! Oh, dear, that monster shouldn't be here!"**_

_**He raced on his hound, & the momma kept on runnin'  
There was no night as scary as there was a while ago  
He raced on his hound, & the momma started runnin'  
Down the River Thames to the Cathedral of St. Paul's**_

_**Well, Mouses got a bad idea, a plan so mean & vile  
He went over to a wishing well, & prepared to drop the child  
But just then, the kind Archdeacon came there just in time  
He said, "Shame on you, Mouses, you've just done an awful crime!"**_

_**He raced on his hound, & the momma kept on runnin'  
There was no night as scary as there was a while ago  
He raced on his hound, & the momma started runnin'  
Down the River Thames to the Cathedral of St. Paul's**_

_**Well, Mouses asked, "What should I do with this little one?"  
The Archdeacon simply said, "Raise him as your son!"  
Mouses took the baby home with him to his lair underground  
He said to him, "My boy, you'll make the finest villain 'round!"**_

_**He raced on his hound, & the momma kept on runnin'  
There was no night as scary as there was a while ago  
He raced on his hound, & the momma started runnin'  
Down the River Thames to the Cathedral of St. Paul's**_

_**The little baby grew up, into an 8-year-old  
The little boy had everything, including cups of gold  
They gave him the name "Ratigan", a mighty lovely thing  
At least for Mouses, who was gonna poison his whole brain**_

_**He raced on his hound, & the momma kept on runnin'  
There was no night as scary as there was a while ago  
He raced on his hound, & the momma started runnin'  
Down the River Thames to the Cathedral of St. Paul's**_

_**Ratigan & Mouses were like a dad & son  
Mouses cared for Ratigan, while Ratigan was alone  
Ratigan had no buddies, 'xcept for three old cardboard mice  
They made friends with Ratigan, & treated him real nice**_

_**He raced on his hound, & the momma kept on runnin'  
There was no night as scary as there was a while ago  
He raced on his hound, & the momma started runnin'  
Down the River Thames to the Cathedral of St. Paul's**_

_**Yeah, he played with the minions, & he worked in the sewers  
And he played all day & night, & did it all o'er again  
And, now, little children, this is the story  
Of how a little boy became Professor Ratigan!**_

**

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Ratigan belongs to Disney, but the characters of Mouses Fiennes, Francois, The Archdeacon, Sally (Ratigan's mother), & Andrew (Ratigan's father), as well as any others in future chapters, are copyrighted by me. Please don't use them without asking.**


End file.
